Questions Guide the Journey - No. 42
So much of the time, we overcomplicate our spiritual journey. We obsess over theology, or practices, or which faith community to invest our time in, what prayers to pray, or even which devotionals and books to read. This comes from a well-intentioned heart; we want to make sure we are doing it “right.” I think the spiritual life isn’t centered around or driven by any of these things. They can help, but it’s a relationship journey, not a program. The core of our journey is first and foremost about connection with God and letting Him lead us where He wants to take us.
I love to tell people that the questions they ask guide the journey they go on. So much of the time, we are looking for formulas to help us grow spiritually when we should be simply having conversations with God. I have found that at critical points in my journey, God put a question on my heart to ask him and a burning desire to find the answer. Every time this has happened, I can look back and see how that one question led me down a path that drew me closer to God. Often, I can see how the way that God began to answer that question changed me and how I live my life.
Several years ago, the question that God put on my heart was “how do I raise my boys to be the men they were created to be?” That question led me to all sorts of cool places with God and led me to write a book (Every Man’s Journey). The journey God led me on in response to that question is still changing every part of my life. The last 11 years were shaped by another big question: “How do you build good things?” Before that, when I was 18, I asked God to give me wisdom and show me how to build my life on it. I can go back and trace every step of my spiritual journey by the questions I asked God. Many of those questions ended up being pivotal times in my life that led me down a far different path than I had envisioned for myself.
I feel like God gave me the phrase, “the questions you ask guide the journey you go on,” because it is so powerfully simple and actionable. If you're hungry for more of God, and you want Him to guide your life, then start asking Him questions. Maybe the first question is who have you created me to be? Or maybe it's simply asking how do I receive your love for me? These simple questions are powerful.
Questions like these aren't the kind that you ask just once; they don't have short answers, and their answers are inherently experiential. In order to understand the answer, we must be changed. Our hearts and minds must be expanded and renewed, our wounds need to be healed, and our paradigms need to be shifted. That's the beauty of allowing questions to drive our spiritual life. We don't have to remember formulas or try to wrap our heads around complex ideas. We simply need to honestly ask the questions that are burning on our hearts and follow God as He begins to answer them in big and seemingly small ways.
When I began asking how to raise my boys to be men, God began leaving me breadcrumbs. Often this was in the form of books and conversations with people that God brought into my life at the perfect time. Other times, I would just wake up with a thought or an idea that helped bring a little bit more clarity to the answer. Writing wasn't something I've done a lot of before asking that question, but somehow God led me to begin writing at a pace that was honestly shocking to me. I tell people that I'm not sure how the book got written, because I honestly didn't set out to write a book. I simply started asking an honest question and following God where He led in response. I'm still asking that question, as well as others that have come up along the way, and I am loving the adventure.
Many years ago, Scott Dohner asked God how to do business His way. That question led to decades of learning a new way of doing business, led by the Spirit. It changed Scott and many others along the way. He taught me what he learned, and it has shaped my work profoundly over the last decade. I could go on and on with my own stories and the stories of others whose lives have been shaped by the questions they asked, and their faithfulness to follow God where He led in response.
Drivers of spiritual growth
I'm often asked some version of the question, "How do I practically go on a transformation journey?” People read the book and want to go deeper, so naturally they're searching for practical action steps. My wife, Heather, is always challenging me to make everything as simple, practical, and actionable as possible. Sometimes that can be very hard because it can lead us to oversimplify things. So much of our spiritual life is a mystery that we are called to live in. We don't conquer it or fully understand it; we are transformed and learn to live in the beautiful, mysterious tension. Our spiritual life should not be oversimplified, but the foundation of spiritual life is actually very simple.
Because of our modern educational model, we tend to think in terms of learning and mastering something, and then moving on to something else. In the spiritual journey, we don't move on from, we move deeper into. We find more truth in things we once thought we totally understood. Most importantly, we become transformed along the way. When Jesus talks about how man cannot serve two masters, that is a truth that we never move on from, but as we go deeper and deeper, it will change everything about how we live and think. The same could be said about everything else that Jesus taught.
When we look at a transformation journey, we have critical concepts that we need to understand in order to reshape our paradigm for life. For instance, receiving God's love, trust, renewing the mind, overcoming ego and self-obsession, healing from wounds, mentors, and embracing mysticism. The obvious and simple next question is, well, how do we do those things? The truth is that I think the answer is so simple that we often fail to see it. Start by just asking God questions and following where He leads. For some people, they trust God, so the question they might ask is, “God, show me the things that I'm holding onto that I need to surrender to you.” Or maybe they can’t trust God yet, so the question is, “God, I want to receive your love, please show me how.” For others, the idea of transformation is a completely new concept, so the question that they could ask is, “God, please show me who you created me to be.” Wherever we are on the journey, I think the next step is always to simply ask God to show us the question He would like us to ask Him. Sometimes that question could be as simple as, “God, do you love me?”
Discipleship during Jesus’ ministry was an entirely different model of learning that most of us have never experienced. When Jesus invited the disciples to come and follow Him, He was inviting them to study under Him. The way that they learned was by following Him, observing Him, listening to His teaching, and asking Him questions. That model of learning is driven by curiosity. I've had the privilege of learning from many different men. There has never been a textbook or an official program we followed. I simply talked with them and asked them questions. Sometimes I got to watch them in action, whether that was speaking to a room full of people or negotiating a business deal. After every opportunity like this, I came out with many questions. Questions have been the foundation of everything I've learned through mentors.
If we don't show up and we aren't curious, then we won't ask questions. If we don't believe we can have conversational intimacy with God, then we won't ask Him questions. So what if the foundation of our spiritual journey with God is a commitment to show up, stay curious, ask Him questions, and follow where He leads. That doesn't sound very complicated. That's the same thing I've done with every person that I've learned from. When I want to grow closer to my wife, I ask her questions. When I want to strengthen my relationship with friends, I ask them questions. When I want to learn from a mentor, I ask them questions.
There is one critical caveat that I will make to the simplicity of what I just shared. If our ego stands between God and us, it will be very hard for us to hear what He has to say or follow where He leads. Our ego’s job is to protect us by validating our fragile sense of identity. When it's in the way, everything that happens in life is filtered through the lens of our ego. For instance, we can't receive God's love because we can't admit that we feel unworthy. Or we can't see who He's made us to be, because we can't admit the brokenness of who we are right now. That is why, in order to have an authentic relationship with God, we must surrender our ego every step of the way. I will go more into the role of our ego in blocking our connection with God in another note. If you feel like you can’t hear God or that He isn’t answering your questions, I encourage you to pray this simple prayer.
Prayer
God, please show me where my pride, fear, control, insecurity, false identity, and every other form of ego are getting in the way of my connection with you. I ask you to show me how to surrender those parts of my heart and mind to you.
Our connection with God and our spiritual journey is driven by the questions we ask. We often find it easier to ask God to do stuff for us than to ask Him to show us what He would like us to see. When I ask God to do something for me, like solve a work problem or open up a new opportunity, I'm making my connection with God about what I think I need. Sometimes that is good and something I really do need. But asking God to do stuff for me isn’t the type of question that leads to transformation and deeper connection. Those kinds of questions are often transactional. You are my God, and I trust you, therefore, I need you to do this thing for me. There is nothing inherently wrong with asking God to do things for us, but those types of questions don’t lead to intimacy and transformation. On the other hand, when I ask God to show me His truth and give me His understanding, I am asking a question that leads to connection. The kinds of questions that guide the journey we go on are connection questions. They lead to conversations, not outcomes. The spiritual journey is connection first, and outcomes are often just a byproduct of where God takes us and what He does in us. I have found that God is always faithful to provide everything we need for each journey that He leads us on.
If you aren't sure of where to start in asking God connection questions, then here are some powerful questions you can start with.
- God, who did you make me to be?
- God, how do I receive your love?
- Father, what parts of me do I need to surrender to you?
- God, what do you want me to know about your heart for me?
- John Walt
